The title is supposed to be in Russian:
This is a bit of a departure for me.
I'm not sure how lucid this is, which I kind of decided to get over since it's supposed to be about madness, but....
Yeah. I could use help.
Inspired partly by:
And should be accompanied by [link]
(White Foxes, Susanne Sundfør)
You might also need to read about Vasilisa: [link]
And I forgot to mention I can't fully claim credit for the "I have seen hell" line. Check out this clip from the BBC adaptation of Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South
: [link]“I wish I could tell you how lonely I am. How cold and harsh it is here. Everywhere there is conflict and unkindness. I think God has forsaken this place. I believe I have seen hell and it's white, it's snow-white.”And don't let me forget to mention this was composed for a contest on the topic of Insanity being hosted by #GrimGloomTale
I desperately need critique. On EVERYTHING. I would particularly appreciate comments on these topics...
This is really supposed to show a person's disintegration into madness, but I'm not sure how well I showed that.
1. Plot arc. Can you see the character's trajectory? Can you see a story there? How does it end?
2. Consistent perspective and tone. Although this is supposed to be a madness piece, I'm concerned I'm too inconsistent in POV, at the very least.
3. Do you like the way I've used line breaks/capitalization/punctuation (or the complete lack thereof)?
4. How well do you think the imagery progresses? Despite being a madness piece, do you think there is some kind of logical flow to or connection between the images?
I guess that's what I keep coming back to - although it's a madness piece, I think I need to make some basic level of sense, and I'm worried I haven't done that.
All comments appreciated!