literature

Limbs

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AzizrianDaoXrak's avatar
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Literature Text

I am barely more than a thought, and yet -
I am everything,
at once ghost and creature
crawling ghoul-like and monstrous from nightmare depths.
I am comprised entirely
of your words and fears -
a collection of scraps, jumbled bones and epithets.

I was not born as magazine photographs.
I am not metal and cut glass,
nor am I smooth, swift acrylics -
I am not a painting.
I will not be beaten and used,
but neither will I be your porcelain doll.

No -
at times I am merely a bird,
wings beating against the wires of my cage.
But at times I am also Yggdrasil itself,
with deep, deep roots and limbs
holding the worlds themselves.

Once I was a vessel,
both chalice and flaming sword.
I have been ridden by the gods,
I have been hills and mountains,
and my seas go on forever.

There is a magic in me that frightens you,
something fierce and primal
that will not be contained.
Edit: The wonderful *lombregrise featured this on 4/20/2013!: [link]

my submission to the #Masters-of-Poetry Abstraction Prompt

My "object" is the human body, particularly the female body. In the US these days there are so many politicians and members of the media who think that they have a right to define and determine the uses for the female body, that it must be controlled and that the people to whom these bodies belong do not have a right to decide for themselves what to do with their own bodies.

Critique of ~cogongrass's excellent "Of the Earth": [link]

If you would like to see some specific examples I am happy to post links, but for now I will limit it simply to Marilyn Frye's famous article about the metaphor of the birdcage:
[link]
"Cages. Consider a birdcage. If you look very closely at just one wire in the cage, you cannot see the other wires. If your conception of what is before you is determined by this myopic focus, you could look at that one wire, up and down the length of it, and be unable to see why a bird would not just fly around the wire any time it wanted to go somewhere. Furthermore, even if, one day at a time, you myopically inspected each wire, you still could not see why a bird would gave trouble going past the wires to get anywhere. There is no physical property of any one wire, nothing that the closest scrutiny could discover, that will reveal how a bird could be inhibited or harmed by it except in the most accidental way. It is only when you step back, stop looking at the wires one by one, microscopically, and take a macroscopic view of the whole cage, that you can see why the bird does not go anywhere; and then you will see it in a moment. It will require no great subtlety of mental powers. It is perfectly obvious that the bird is surrounded by a network of systematically related barriers, no one of which would be the least hindrance to its flight, but which, by their relations to each other, are as confining as the solid walls of a dungeon."

Day 1 of National Poetry Writing Month! Wish me luck! (And Happy April Fools Day!)

EDIT: I do suppose this poem is very personal, but I would still like some critique

1. I always worry when I use one form of phrasing too often in a poem. Does the repetition of the phrase "I am" work well, or should I mix it up a bit?
2. I fear this poem is subject to some rather severe mood swings. I'm not sure at all about the shifts in tone throughout the poem. Thoughts?
3. Does the "I am not" stanza feel completely out of the blue? Should I cut it out entirely or throw in an additional line so that it makes more sense?
4. Further thoughts?

EDIT: OMIGAWD thank you so much for the DLD! Why am I not surprised to see =LadyofGaerdon is behind this? ;)
Comments21
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jadewhisper's avatar
   the imagery i get when i read this, is breathtaking and amazing. the poem is written so well, every stanza and line fuctions perfect together like a machine; each word supports the other word. it's so perfectly writtenn.. ;3;