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Literature Text
I weary of stories
that lay out destinies
like long tunnels of pain,
incurable by a few mere pills
and a cup of tea before bed.
I cling close to my teacup womb:
A cup tipped over, upset by careless elbows,
and as the liquid spills out,
I wear realization like a crown that is
free will in a world haunted by God.
that lay out destinies
like long tunnels of pain,
incurable by a few mere pills
and a cup of tea before bed.
I cling close to my teacup womb:
A cup tipped over, upset by careless elbows,
and as the liquid spills out,
I wear realization like a crown that is
free will in a world haunted by God.
Well THIS ONE was definitely a scrap, written at the last possible minute.
Sort of fond of parts of it, but I feel like I need to spend more time tinkering. Nevertheless, NaPoWriMo day 11 complete.
I'd really love comments and critique on this one. Mostly I'd like to hear what you all think of the flow of imagery (or lack thereof). I worked in the phrase from #LITplease's prompt for the day: "The cup tipped over, and as the liquid spilled out, I realized..." LOTS of creative license taken here. Creative license ALL OVER THE PLACE, lol.
Thanks for reading
Sort of fond of parts of it, but I feel like I need to spend more time tinkering. Nevertheless, NaPoWriMo day 11 complete.
I'd really love comments and critique on this one. Mostly I'd like to hear what you all think of the flow of imagery (or lack thereof). I worked in the phrase from #LITplease's prompt for the day: "The cup tipped over, and as the liquid spilled out, I realized..." LOTS of creative license taken here. Creative license ALL OVER THE PLACE, lol.
Thanks for reading
Comments3
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"I cling close to my teacup womb:
A cup tipped over, upset by careless elbows,
and as the liquid spills out,
I wear realization like a crown that is
free will in a world haunted by God."
imagery:
favorite line(s): I wear realization like a crown that is
free will in a world haunted by God.
A cup tipped over, upset by careless elbows,
and as the liquid spills out,
I wear realization like a crown that is
free will in a world haunted by God."
imagery:
favorite line(s): I wear realization like a crown that is
free will in a world haunted by God.