Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconazizriandaoxrak: More from AzizrianDaoXrak


Featured in Collections

Treasured Literature by LadyLincoln

Lovely Literature by witwitch


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
November 21, 2013
File Size
460 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
310
Favourites
15 (who?)
Comments
4

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
×
I wish I had been born like George Sand
with all the courage of trousers
to grasp you, a Chopin with your sweet fingers.

But I am a girl beneath my petticoats;
I long to tangle my white-gloved fingers
In the folds of your cravat,
Like oceans meeting,
But I grasp instead the swan neck of my
Lace parasol, like an anchor.

Love, break open my steel rib cage
And make of me a poet,
Make my snarled letters into kisses
And their thorned brambles bloom roses.
A fun piece I wrote for Lili's 26th birthday contest!

Victorian period, obviously :) The beginning kind of just came to me, and I have to say it flowed fairly nicely from there. All comments/critiques appreciated! I'd particularly like to know if any part of it is too jarring or doesn't make sense :/

Also: this definitely still isn't finished. I thought about mentioning something about a silent courtship in a final paragraph, but I just don't know....is it finished as is? Does it need more?
Add a Comment:
 
:iconchapav:
chapaV Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013  Professional Writer
Very nice indeed. If you really want to continue it, consider adding a second part or episode, roman numeral style. I don't think it needs more direct stanzas though. Or does it? Lol I can't decide either.
Reply
:iconazizriandaoxrak:
AzizrianDaoXrak Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm. Okay, I'll think about it ^^

Glad you like!
Reply
:iconcarmalain7:
Carmalain7 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013
I absolutely think this is brilliant. I also think that it is unfinished. Though, I'm unsure if that is because it needs more, or just because I want more. =p
Reply
:iconazizriandaoxrak:
AzizrianDaoXrak Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haha. Thank you ^^ You're the best.
Reply
Add a Comment: